


Apparent

by erurification



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, What am I doing, help me, idk????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:59:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5100308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erurification/pseuds/erurification
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi married Erwin for money, not love.</p><p>At least, that’s what he tells himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apparent

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me what this word vomit trainwreck is...I have some chaptered fics I'm meant to be finishing up and put off for ages so I figured I'd write something quick to warm myself back up (and also because there's a bunch of fics clogging up the eruri tag that aren't actually eruri). Clearly it didn't work lol. So here's this mess with everyone well out of character and the world's worst ending that somehow happened?
> 
> (I don't really think about modern eruri au that much, but I always imagined they'd live somewhere like New York, although I never mentioned a specific city in this fic. Since I'm actually a Brit some stuff might sound weird or awkward because I had an American-ish city/environment in mind for some reason.)

Levi married Erwin for money, not love.

At least, that’s what he tells himself.

He was a kid from the slums, born and bred in the run-down side of the city. He did very well in school and longed to go to university one day, but his teachers never said anything about it and never did anything to encourage him. Perhaps they didn’t care, or perhaps they didn’t want to get his hopes up. Nevertheless, he kept studying and was was so determined to keep doing well in school and make it to some prestigious university that he begged his mother to send him to additional tutoring sessions after class.

He got set up with some awkward blond high schooler who towered over him and was always wearing stupid souvenir T-shirts and ill-fitting jeans. But his tutor would always tell him that he was exceptionally clever and had a bright future ahead of him, so long as he kept studying hard and stayed in school. He could go to university and become anything he wanted, he could leave the slums and make something of himself.

Nobody had ever told Levi this before, and he began to dream about it all the time. He yearned for the day when he’d get his degree and then a high-paying job, and he’d be able to buy a nice house in the suburbs for his mother to live in.

But then Levi’s mother got sick, and he dropped out of school and stopped going to tutoring sessions. He began to spend all of his time working instead so they could afford her treatment. She died anyway, and by that time, all of their savings were gone. University was no longer a possibility, so Levi took that little dream of his, crumpled it up, and set it aside to gather dust. He never had any more aspirations after that, no more hopes or dreams. Levi knew no matter what he did, he would never amount to anything.

That was what he believed for years.

Levi spent his days cleaning hotel rooms, and his nights waiting tables at an upscale restaurant in the entertainment district. He didn’t mind the cleaning because it took his mind off things, and he could work without being disturbed. His shifts at the restaurant, however, were less pleasant. They’d start out nicely enough, with most of the families behaving in perfectly civil manners, and leaving decent tips most of the time. But then, in the later hours, the families would clear out, only to be replaced by throngs of pompous businessmen enjoying a night on the town behind their wives’ backs.

They were disgusting, all of them - they’d get raucously drunk and make messes that the staff would have to deal with. Sometimes they’d grope at Levi when he tried to pass through, other times they’d deliberately spill things on the ground so they could ogle his ass when he bent down to clean it up. They shouted disgusting things at him, catcalled at him, made suggestive hand gestures and lewd drunken comments. One time, a man (who Levi later learned was the CEO of one of the city’s biggest banking firms) grabbed him and demanded to know how much it would cost to take him home for the night. If Levi didn’t need this job as desperately as he did, he would have slapped him and told him to go fuck himself. But the shameful truth was that he did need it, and he had no choice but to quietly tolerate these awful nights and awful men who thought they could do whatever they pleased and treat him like a toy because they were rich and powerful.

Frankly, Levi was sick of having to work two jobs to pay rent for a shitty apartment with a leaky ceiling and peeling plaster walls, skipping meals because he was trying to save up for a better place to live. But who was he to complain? He was nobody, he had no right to want anything more or to think that he deserved better.

So when a handsome blond man in a Burberry suit left him a $300 tip along with his phone number, Levi couldn’t help but be tempted to call him.

To this day, he still isn’t sure what compelled him to do that. As far as he was concerned, Blond Burberry Guy was just another sleazy businessman who wanted to lure him into his bed, probably at some ridiculous penthouse or luxury suite. But as things turned out, sex was the last thing that Blond Burberry Guy had in mind.

“Levi?” Blond Burberry Guy had asked excitedly when he answered Levi’s call, “I was afraid you wouldn’t call! You see, I thought you looked familiar. I’m Erwin Smith - I used to tutor you when you were in primary school, do you remember?”

Of course Levi remembered Erwin Smith - that dweeby blond kid with the weird eyebrows and ugly shirts who’d go over maths and science with him after school. But how on earth did that awkward gangly high schooler turn into dashing Blond Burberry Guy?

Erwin invited him out coffee, and Levi found time in between shifts to meet him. It’d just be a harmless bit of catch-up between old acquaintances, he thought.

During their meeting, he learned that Erwin had graduated as valedictorian from his high school, and then went on to attend Princeton. With a prestigious degree under his belt as well as a few years’ worth of internships, it’d been easy for him to snag a job at one of the country’s top law firms, and he’d been quickly climbing the ranks ever since.

Levi had to admit that this made him terribly, venomously jealous. Wasn’t that what he’d always dreamed of as a child? The chance to become something more than a scrappy kid from the slums. It had never become a reality for him, yet here was Erwin, with everything he could possibly ever want at his fingertips.

Erwin paid for Levi’s cup of tea and then invited him to dinner that night at some posh hotel downtown. Despite his better judgement, Levi called in sick to work and went out with Erwin instead. He ordered a $60 plate of pasta with a name he couldn’t pronounce and a $50 glass of wine, with a tiny $40 slice of cheesecake that Erwin insisted was heavenly and that he had to try.

Erwin paid for all of that, too. And then he eagerly invited Levi to go out with him again.

Levi thought it flattering that wealthy, handsome Erwin would want to wine and dine someone like him. Still, he couldn’t help but have doubts. Of course, Erwin was polite and charming and behaved like a gentleman through and through, but Levi wasn’t entirely convinced that he didn’t want what every other man did. Levi had nothing to offer him aside from a warm body to shove his dick in. Wasn’t that the only thing that rich, powerful men like Erwin ever wanted from him? So what if they’d been acquainted when they were younger? Did it make a difference?

No matter what the case, Erwin seemed sweet on him - whether this was genuine affection or just a desire to get into his pants, Levi had no idea. But then he remembered the burning jealousy he’d felt when Erwin had recounted the path to his success. He was quick to realize that this was it. This was his way out of poverty. So he plastered a smile onto his face, batted his lashes, and agreed to everything Erwin asked.

Not more than a month later, Levi moved into Erwin’s apartment. Erwin would always bring him flowers and expensive chocolates and constantly showered him with all sorts of ridiculously expensive and unnecessary gifts. _My winter coat’s getting a bit thin,_ Levi might say, _Would be nice to have a decent one this year, you know?_ And just like that, a box wrapped with a silk ribbon would appear, containing a beautiful designer coat lined with sable (and a $9,000 price tag). Like a dog eager to please, Erwin would indulge his every whim.

And now, less than a year later, they are married.

Erwin tells Levi that he no longer has to work in the hotel or the restaurant, so Levi hands in his resignations and starts staying at the apartment all day. Vaguely, he wonders if it’s because Erwin intends to keep him here like a possession or pet. But he doesn’t complain. He entertains himself with movie marathons on the massive flat-screen television and online shopping sprees with Erwin’s credit card. He tells himself that all he has to do is look pretty and play the part of the perfect housewife who bakes apple pies and makes the living room look like a magazine spread, and he can have anything he wants.

At first, it feels almost like a game. But then Levi begins to worry.

It’s strange to him that Erwin will never touch him without permission. Of course, he’ll kiss him or hug him or put an affectionate arm around him without any warnings. That’s to be expected. But when they’re in bed, he always asks, _Is this all right, Levi? Can I do this?_ And Levi will nod breathlessly, let Erwin climb on top of him and nudge his legs apart.

Why does he ask? Why doesn’t he just take? Isn’t this why Erwin had started him pursuing him in the first place? Surely there was something he wanted from Levi in exchange for the fancy apartment and lavish gifts? It baffles Levi to no end and frightens him.

What does Erwin want from him? How can he give it to him if he doesn’t know what it is? Cautious, and terrified that Erwin will tire of him and throw him back where he found him the second he realizes that he got the short end of the stick by marrying him, Levi is unfailingly obedient to his husband, desperate to please him. He makes sure that the apartment is perpetually warm and inviting and spotlessly clean, painstakingly irons Erwin’s shirts and trousers to crisp perfection, and is careful to only cook foods that Erwin likes.

One time, he spends the entire afternoon dusting the apartment top to bottom, reorganizing the kitchen, and cleaning the bathroom. He is so exhausted by the time he starts making dinner that when he sits down on the sofa while waiting for the ham to finish baking, he dozes off. When he wakes up, the ham is already burnt and Erwin is walking through the front door after a particularly stressful day at work. At that moment, Levi is certain that Erwin will be furious with him. He expects to be shouted at, maybe even slapped. But all Erwin does is give Levi a kiss and assure him that he’s always preferred his ham crispy anyway.

 _You are perfect,_ _Levi,_ Erwin is always telling him no matter what mistakes Levi might make or what differences exist between them, _You’re wonderful the way you are and I love you for it._ They are worlds apart - Erwin is successful and educated while Levi is from the slums and dropped out of school when he was sixteen - yet none of that ever seems to matter.

Erwin adores Levi. That much is apparent. They never argue and Erwin continues to spoil Levi rotten with gifts and treats. Levi no longer has to ask for anything. Erwin is always three steps ahead of him, as if he knows exactly what Levi wants and needs, and he always has these things ready without Levi even having to say a word - whether it’s some sweet he’s been craving or a new vacuum cleaner that he’s been eyeing in a catalogue. They spend pleasant nights together curled up side by side in bed, with Erwin whispering words of endearment to him and telling him how beautiful he is, how precious he is to him. On weekends, they go out for fancy dinners or strolls in the park or outings in nearby cities. They don’t have sex all that often, but when they do, it’s always fantastic. Erwin is so kind to him and being married to him is wonderful, like living in a fairytale.

Still, there is that part of Levi’s mind that plagues him always, like a parasite taking hold of his brain. _It’s too good to be true,_ he always finds himself thinking, _You’re not good enough for him. This is all an illusion, a stupid dream. Erwin will wake up soon enough and see what you really are. You are nothing._

It all comes crashing down one night when Erwin brings his boss over for dinner.

Naturally, he’d let Levi know about it weeks in advance, and although he assured Levi that they could simply order takeaway, Levi meticulously prepares a carefully planned home cooked meal anyway. He sets everything out on the table perfectly in place and uses their best dinnerware for the occasion. There is roast lamb and pasta for the main course, with stuffed bell peppers for starters and chocolate cake for dessert - complete with a layer of fresh strawberries and little buttercream rosettes.

Erwin’s boss is tall and broad very much like Erwin is, but that’s where their similarities end. While Erwin is always charming and polite, his boss is loud and rude and when he’s not shovelling food into his mouth, he keeps interrupting Erwin mid-sentence during their dinner conversation.

Levi is quiet all throughout dinner, unsure that he has anything valuable to say at all. He doesn’t understand what Erwin and his boss are talking about. All the legal jargon being thrown back and forth makes him feel stupid and small, and as if he senses his discomfort, Erwin reaches under the table to secretly take Levi’s hand in his.

“Dinner was absolutely perfect as always. You’re a wonder,” he tells Levi, kissing him on the cheek. “Thank you so much, darling.”

“Well, that’s a pretty piece you have, Erwin,” Erwin’s boss laughs as if he’s only just noticed Levi. His eyes are fixed on him now, greedy and probing. “I’ll admit that I’m almost jealous of you.” Levi squirms uncomfortably under his gaze, and Erwin gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Yes, I’m very lucky to have Levi. I don’t know what I’d do without him, really,” Erwin replies good naturedly, and Levi feels something in his chest flutter when he hears the way his husband’s voice swells with pride and affection. Still, he can’t shake off the feeling of unease that crawls up and down his spine with the way Erwin’s boss is looking at him as if he intends to eat him for a post-meal snack.

When Erwin leaves the dining room to fetch a bottle of wine from his collection, Levi stands up to start clearing the table. As he’s gathering up the cutlery, he suddenly feels an arm around his waist and hot breath against his neck. Instinct tells him that he should smack the bastard across the face, but this is Erwin’s guest, and his boss to boot. He cannot embarrass Erwin by being rude.

“Levi, is it?” Erwin’s boss drawls, his hand pressed against the small of Levi’s back in a way that makes him want to scream, “Erwin has a picture of you on his desk, you know. You look so lovely in that little photo, I just had to keep dropping hints for Erwin to invite me over for dinner so I could see for myself. You’re even more delectable in the flesh.”

“Please, don’t,” Levi protests as he tries in vain to subtly squirm away, “I really don’t think you should-”

“Here’s the deal, Levi,” Erwin’s boss says, cutting him off before he can say another word, “I’m thinking about giving your husband a promotion. But I think I’ll need a little more convincing before I make my final decision. You can do that, can’t you?” His hand moves from Levi’s waist to his rear end, and Levi prays to all the gods that Erwin will not see them like this. “Think about it, Levi. Think about what a promotion will mean to your husband, how happy it will make him. If you understand, then you’ll meet me tomorrow night at this hotel. I’ve already booked a room where we can speak in complete privacy with no-one to disturb us. Seven o’clock sharp. Don’t be late.”

The bastard’s already written down an address on a folded piece of paper, which he slips into Levi’s back pocket - none too subtly groping at his rear in the process. With his heart pounding in his chest, Levi wonders just how long this man has been planning for this.

Erwin’s boss finally lets go of him just as Erwin comes back with the wine. He accepts a glass and laughs and jokes like he hasn’t just propositioned his dinner host’s spouse, and Levi spends the rest of the night with fear clamped tight around his heart.

“Are you all right, darling?” Erwin asks after his boss has gone home and they are getting ready for bed, “You look pale. I hope you didn’t wear yourself out making dinner. I’m sorry, we should have ordered out.”

“No, I’m fine,” Levi insists, trying not to look at Erwin in the eye as he slips under the covers, “I just need a bit of sleep, that’s all.”

“Of course,” Erwin replies, planting an affectionate kiss on his forehead, “Anything you want. I promise I’ll try not to snore too loudly tonight.” Even despite the nagging worry tugging insistently at the back of his head, Levi can’t help but crack a small smile at his husband’s attempted joke.

When the lights are out and they’re laying side by side in the dark, their breathing in perfect sync as their fingers intertwine underneath the blanket almost out of instinct, Levi realises with alarming clarity that he did not marry Erwin for money.

He married Erwin because he loves him.

He loves him, and he would do anything to make him happy because he knows that Erwin would do the same for him. So he tells himself that for Erwin’s sake, he will go through whatever his boss has in mind for him. He will do whatever it takes to ensure that Erwin gets that promotion that he has worked so hard for.

And so the next day, he tells Erwin he’ll be out all night visiting some distant relative who happens to be in town. Erwin trusts him fully and has no reason to suspect that he’s doing anything else, and that’s what hurts the most. Nevertheless, he takes a cab to the address that Erwin’s boss has given him and finds the man waiting for him in the lobby. They go straight up to the room that’s been booked - quite predictably, it’s a luxury suite on the top floor.

Erwin’s boss wastes no time beating around the bush, and Levi knows perfectly well what he must do to convince him to give Erwin that promotion. It’s the only thing that men have ever wanted from him - all men, but Erwin. Levi tries not to think about that as he lays back on the king-sized bed with the velvet sheets and lets his husband’s boss fuck him messily into the memory foam mattress.

He returns back to the apartment full of shame, and he’s glad that Erwin is already asleep by the time he gets back and won’t see the pitiful way he is limping.

Gossip gets around quickly in offices, and Erwin’s boss is not the sort of man who exercises discretion or delicacy. He gives Erwin the promotion, but he also boasts to anyone who will listen about how he seduced and slept with Erwin’s naive spouse behind Erwin’s back. The news filters its ways through the usual channels until it finally reaches Erwin himself.

Erwin is humiliated, but not as much as he is devastated.

“Tell me what everyone else is saying isn’t true,” he begs Levi one evening when he returns from work. Levi has baked his favourite cinnamon buns, but they go untouched. “Tell me you didn’t sleep with him, Levi, please. They must be wrong, I know you’d never do that, you’re not that kind of person.”

Levi cannot lie to Erwin. There are tears welling in his eyes as he shakes his head and hoarsely says, “No, Erwin. It’s the truth.”

“Is there something wrong with me?” Erwin asks desperately. He gets down on his knees and clutches frantically at Levi’s hands, “My darling, I love you so much, can’t you see that? If I’m not making you happy, please tell me how I can change, I’m begging you.”

Levi is so ashamed he wants to run. He can’t face Erwin like this, can’t look him in the eyes when he’s kneeling in front of him as if he’s the one who’s done wrong. How can he tell Erwin that he’d done it because he thought it would make him happy? He realizes now that he’s been a fool, such a damn fool, and he’s taken everything that Erwin has ever given him and thrown it back in his face.

“I’m sorry,” is all he’s able to choke out, vision blurred with tears, “I’m sorry, Erwin, I’m so sorry.” His husband is heartbroken because of him and he knows his apologies will do nothing to reverse the damage that has been done. He could not have found a worse way to wound Erwin even if had driven a knife into his heart.

“Why did you do it?” Erwin implores as he looks up at him with beseeching blue eyes, “Is it because he has more money than me?”

Levi freezes.

Is this what Erwin thinks? Does he think that Levi feels nothing for him, that he would willingly leave him for another man because of _money_ , of all things?

There was a point in time when Levi might have believed this himself. He had been penniless and desperate and so tired of being treated like dirt that he believed that rich, handsome Erwin was his ticket to a better life. But is it the fancy dinners and expensive chocolates that make him happy? Is it the designer clothes, the posh hotels, or the big shiny apartment? Is it being driven around town in a flashy sportscar?

No, it’s _Erwin_ , and it always has been. Erwin, who loves him and thinks he is the most perfect and beautiful thing in the entire world. Erwin, who has given him everything he could possibly want and makes him feel like he is worth it. Erwin, who has always seen diamonds in him from the very first day they met, even if the only things that anyone else ever sees are dust and dirt.

“I love you, Erwin,” he tells his husband, and he realises that it is the first time he has ever uttered these words aloud, “I love you, and only you, and that’s the way it’s always been and always will be.”

He isn’t sure if he can bring himself to tell Erwin why he’d betrayed him like he had. He thinks he’s better off just begging for his forgiveness instead. But Erwin doesn’t expect any justifications or need any more words to understand exactly how he feels. He rises to his feet, gathers Levi up in his arms, and kisses him breathless.

Levi clings to him like he is a lifeline, and secretly promises that he’ll never let go.

Two years later, things are a little different.

Erwin finds out on his own what had happened between his boss and spouse and decides to resign, refusing to work for a man that will treat Levi the way he did. His boss retaliates by sending nasty references out to all the other firms in the city, and for a while, no-one will hire Erwin because of it. Eventually, he manages to get a new position at a company that pays him less than half of the salary he’d been making before, but he doesn’t mind.

And neither does Levi.

The apartment they live in now is much smaller. They don’t go out for fancy dinners anymore, and there’s no more designer clothes or ridiculously expensive chocolates. But they don’t ever find themselves missing those luxuries very much. They still have each other, and a little son named Eren, too. Levi and Eren are Erwin’s treasures, and together, the three of them are utterly and indescribably happy.  
  
After all, Levi married Erwin for love, not money.

**Author's Note:**

> baby eren cameo was probably this fic's only redeeming quality tbh


End file.
